I’m not eating my breakfast To-Go Today!
Enjoying the peace of eating alone and appreciating my journey.
Today is April 21, 2023, and I am sitting in IHOP by myself, eating breakfast and reflecting on the last year of my life. I opened my journal and came across a note that I jotted down during a career coaching session last year. As we sat on Zoom, I remember my Coach Jazmine looking thorough the screen at me saying, “Angelique, you’re sitting in your dream home with your dream family”. She reminded me that I manifested all that was happening to me, and I remember the feelings of accomplishment that came over me.
Today I have that same feeling as I come to the end of my first year as a School Improvement Coach for a local school district. I also came across a note in my journal that stated that I would like to be an Instructional Coach, specifically supporting teachers with their instructional practices and increasing engagement with their students. I get to do that every single day! How amazing is that?! I would not have thought this could happen to me in February 2022. Let’s go back to 2022 for a second. My birthday is in February, and I can recall my special day on the horizon and feeling like I was no longer adding value in my position at the time. On this particular day I was walking in the hallway with my then Department Chair and I broke out into tears telling her that I could not do it anymore. I told her that I had to get out, I felt like I was suffocating and needed to be free. A few days later I had a meeting with her, my Assistant Principal and Principal and told them the same things that I had shared with my Department Chair. They both tried to reassure me that I was a valuable member of the staff and that I was making an impact on my students. I knew otherwise in my heart, and I knew in that meeting that they would never understand what I felt. I knew then that I had to create my own exit strategy. I knew then that what I was feelings were valid and that I deserved to feel happiness, fulfillment, and joy in my daily work activities. That moment shifted my thinking, and I immediately began to think of what I could do to get myself out of that situation because I would NOT be a classroom teacher when August rolled around.
As my breakfast continues to digest, I am filled with gratitude because I can take a few minutes to fill my bucket, I can stop and not eat my breakfast while I’m driving. Initially I ordered my food to-go as I drove into work but the longer I drove, the more I realized that I needed time to myself; so I parked my car and walked into IHOP. I asked the kind lady at the front for a table to dine-in and settled into a booth by myself. It is so refreshing to enjoy my own company, to not need the conversation of others, to sit with my thoughts and enjoy the peace. Stopping allowed me to write this blog today. Stopping allowed me to reflect on my current position and the freedom that comes along with it. Stopping allowed me a few minutes to listen to my favorite playlist, that includes Fantasia’s song “Even Angels”. In the song she says, you have the right to take your time, the right to go slow, the right to run, or the right to fly. She says, “Even angels learn how to fly”. That was the confirmation I needed to know that it was ok for me to stop.
To the strong soul that is reading this, I want you to know that you, too, have the right to take time to yourself and deserve to go at your own pace. Learn to love your journey and know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. It does require work and determination to live the dream life you imagine about, but today, give yourself grace and appreciate how far you have come. Don’t eat your breakfast to-go today!
Much Love,
Angelique